


has the dawn ever seen your eyes

by silversilky



Series: BandoRevue AU [1]
Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game), 少女☆歌劇 レヴュー・スタァライト | Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight (Anime)
Genre: Action & Romance, Confessions, F/F, Romance, Trans Female Character, character(s), it's a revstar au!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-20 18:48:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21061457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silversilky/pseuds/silversilky
Summary: Her hand trembles as she holds the rapier's grip. "I won't let anybody hurt my friends!" Tsugumi calls out despite herself. "Even if..." She gulps, and takes a halting step forward. "Even if it's you, Sayo-san."





	has the dawn ever seen your eyes

Tsugumi is falling.

The wind rushes around her like a physical force, buffeting her body and whipping her hair as she plummets, further and further, faster and faster. She's surely reached terminal velocity by now-- hey, how high up was that balcony, anyway? She doesn't have time to think about it.

Instead, she thinks of her friends from school. She's gonna miss so many practice sessions... and then she thinks of her mom and her dad, and she sends them a message screamed from the core of her mind. I'm sorry, I'm really really sorry, your daughter is an idiot and you're gonna need to find someone to cover those weekend shifts at the cafe--

And then she hits something.

A soft barrier, like the surface tension of a good latte. She breaks through it a moment after impact and is confronted, all around in every direction, with a bright shade of red she's never seen before.

There's a rumbling underneath her, if she can correctly distinguish which way is up right now. An engine. Many engines, many whirring, precise machines. What are they doing? She falls deeper into the red, and the temperature begins to heat up-- the bath water ran too hot, she burned the new cakes, she looked right into the setting sun's rays. Tsugumi squeezes her eyes shut tight as she is overcome, and then--

she is reborn.

* * *

Her feet lightly touch down against the stage in shoes she's never worn. A black and orange dress flows gracefully around her, and on her right shoulder there's an extra weight. A yellow cape, draped around and held in place by a round golden button. It takes another moment for her to notice the thin rapier clutched in her hand.

"Tsugumi!"

Ran's voice cries out, both furious and scared at once. She's pinned to a wall by a long arrow sliced through her own cape, and she struggles to free herself. "Tsugumi, get the hell out of here! You're not part of this!"

"No!" Tsugumi feels such a wave of indignance wash over her that she nearly stomps her foot. "Is this why you've been slipping away all the time lately? I've been worried sick about you! We all have been, that's why I followed you! I'm not letting you run away anymore!"

Ran glares somewhere past her shoulder and seems to bite back a sharp response. Instead, her eyes widen and she yells, "Tsugumi, look out!"

A whizzing sound cuts through the air and on an instinct she doesn't possess, Tsugumi swung her sword in an arc to knock the arrow from its path before it can reach her. It clatters to the ground, echoing through the expanse of the underground stage.

Her hand trembles as she holds the rapier's grip. The other girl on this stage, the one with the bow-- she's close enough to recognize now. As if it would be anyone else.

"I won't let anybody hurt my friends!" Tsugumi calls out despite herself. "Even if..." She gulps, and takes a halting step forward.

"Even if it's you, Sayo-san."

* * *

Tsugumi wakes up in her bed, hugging a plush dog to her chest. She sits straight up, and after a long moment, stares at her hands.

She flexes her fingers one by one to stop them from trembling. Could she really swing a blade with these small hands...? That wasn't real... was it? But she could still feel the intensity in her opponent's eyes as they fought. It's as clear as the light slipping through the gaps in her curtains, illuminating her face as she grapples with the memory.

Her phone lights up and buzzes from a new notification, and she opens it without a second thought.

**ran:** hey.  
**ran:** ...  
**ran:** i'm sorry for getting you involved.  
**ran:** and thank you.

Tsugumi puts the phone down and holds her head in her hands, rubbing her eyes. It had all happened, then, as surreal and dreamlike as it felt now. Ran would never express herself openly like that unless prompted by some sort of mortal peril.

She types a reply out with trembling fingers.

**Tsugu:** of course ran-chan! i wouldn't leave any of you in a situation like that...  
**ran:** ...  
**ran:** you're in the auditions now, tsugumi.  
**ran:** which means we'll have to fight each other eventually.  
**ran:** ...  
**ran:** i guess you'll also have to fight moca but trust me you can beat her ass.

She lets out a giggle despite herself, but inside she feels the anxiety continue to build. She'll have to fight Ran and Moca...? Why are they fighting at all, in the first place? She needs to get more answers from somebody, but Ran's far from an open book and Moca will just scurry around any serious question like it's a mousetrap. Well, she can ask Sayo--

Sayo... Tsugumi's eyes widen. I fought Sayo...

They weren't that close. Only a few baking sessions together in the dorm kitchen, and a few happenstance meetups outside of it made up their history together. But Sayo was... kind. And surprisingly friendly if you looked past her strict aura. Tsugumi treasured the rare times they got to just talk outside of practice, moments of peace in their often chaotic academy lives.

Now Tsugumi had swung a sword at her. And done more than that, besides.

What if Sayo's mad at her? Or worse, what if she's hurt...?

Before Tsugumi can think any further, she gets up and rushes out of her room, her heart climbing into her throat. Sayo's room is in on the other side of the building, if she remembers correctly. She could just text the other girl, but Sayo's not much better than Ran at expressing herself through words alone. She needs to see her in person.

So caught up in her thoughts and fears, Tsugumi slams right into someone as she rounds a tight corner. They back up and gasp dramatically at the sight of their nearly-finished bagel on the dormitory carpet.

Tsugumi winces and shrinks back. "Ahh, sorry, Moca..."

Moca pouts at her, shedding a few patented Mocadile tears. "That was Moca-chan's one and only breakfast, you know... What if she starves to death? What a grisly fate for such a cute and sweet young schoolgirl..."

"I'll buy you a new one!" she says quickly in response, knowing Moca doesn't really need it but not wanting to be rude. And what if she really was that hungry...?

"Three."

Tsugumi can feel the exact instant her sympathy dies. "One."

Moca falls back against the wall, putting a hand to her head. "Taking out your future opponents with tactics like these... Our Tsugu is taking her Tsugurificness in wicked and shrewd new directions. Kids these days are so cruel..."

Her breath catches in her throat as she's brought back to reality. She tries to say something in response anyway, but can't get the words out. Moca notices and shifts gears, her voice changing from a teasing drawl to what passed as a serious tone for her. "You talked to our adorable Ran, right?"

Tsugumi nods.

"Did she say you could beat Moca-chan's ass? I bet she totally did, Ran's always telling funny jokes like that~"

That gets a genuine chuckle out of her, though somewhere along the way out it starts to sound more like a sob. Oh, no. Not now. Stop that prickling feeling. Don't you dare get overwhelmed right in front of her...

With a sharp intake of breath, Tsugumi looks up with a smile plastered on and a teasing remark ready, but both fall away as Moca moves forward and-- oh, Moca's actually hugging her. Oh... Tsugumi can't be blamed if she cries a little now, right?

"It's okay to be scared. Even the great Moca-chan felt the tiniest, littlest, faintest bit of anxiety when that dumb bear told her that she'd been chosen to fight a bunch of other strong girls." Moca pats her on the back, and Tsugumi buries her face in her friend's shoulder. She smells like a bakery. "But Moca-chan knew it was her destiny to kick lots of ass, and now it's yours too~"

When Tsugumi feels like she can move away without being overcome again, she does. She's rewarded with a sleepy grin.

"Heard you got to fight it out with somebody all intense-like already." Moca puts her finger to her chin and looks up, pretending to search for a name. "Who was it... Tall, blue, and handsome...?"

"Moca!" Tsugumi squeaked. "She's not... Don't talk about Sayo-san like that!"

"Ahh, defending your girlfriend so passionately..." Moca gasps, and leers at her indignant expression. "Who knew our little Tsugu was such a romantic~"

"She isn't my--!" Tsugumi groans and knows that there's no point in trying to counter any further.

Moca twirls away towards the kitchen, surely planning a new raid on the breadbox. "Go to her, sweet Tsugu! Woo your dearly beloved Sayo-san~!"

Ugh!

But as much as Tsugumi wants to be upset with Moca for her merciless teasing... she can't deny her feelings for the other girl. It was probably child's play for Moca to tell that she had the biggest, gayest crush on Sayo, which makes Tsugumi flush pink at the thought of it. What if she told everybody else?

Does it even matter if Sayo hates you now, though, her brain helpfully supplies, and she can only gulp in response.

Her destination is in sight now. Straight down the hall and to the left, the door that's closed with a faint light shining under it. Tsugumi doesn't let herself get caught up in her fears this time. She knows that if she does, she'll never move any closer. She just has to move and not think about it.

Tsugumi finds herself knocking gently on the door.

"Sayo-san?" she says quietly. "Um... I wanted to check up on you?" No, that sounds weird! "I thought we could... talk?" Better, marginally.

There's a long pause, which Tsugumi spends adjusting her shirt and playing nervously with her hands. And then the door opens a crack, and a familiar face peeks down at her. Sayo doesn't look like a wreck, as she had feared, but she does look... tired. "Hazawa-san..." she says before trailing off.

As they stand awkwardly on either side of the doorway, Sayo reaches up to play with a strand of her long hair, and even now Tsugumi can't help but find it cute.

"Sayo-san..."

Sayo's gaze steadies. "Would you like to come inside?"

* * *

Sayo heads to the small kitchen area to serve some drinks for the two of them as Tsugumi sits on the sofa, doing her best to not take up space. Her eyes wander around the room-- it's hard to be excited about it right now, but this is still the first time Sayo's invited her to come over.

The room is immaculate and neatly organized. Tsugumi remembers that Sayo had a roommate at one point, but that must have changed, since this is clearly fully Sayo's domain. There are several bookshelves, mostly volumes on music theory and performance art. There's a few biographies of bands she's vaguely heard of as well.

"Hazawa-san, I hope you don't mind black tea," Sayo calls out.

"Oh, that's all right!" Tsugumi replies back. "I can come help, if you'd like?"

"Nonsense. You're my guest today."

She smiles faintly at the soft tone of Sayo's voice, and looks around the room more as she waits.

Sayo's got a plant growing in a square pot on a table in the corner, something with long dark green fronds. It's pretty. And past that, peeking out from under a blanket on a chair-- Tsugumi has to throw a hand over her mouth to stop herself from outright squealing. How adorable! Who knew someone as stoic as Sayo would have a big plush dog in her room?

Her gaze wanders again, and she sees there is a long bow with a quiver of arrows leaning against the wall.

Tsugumi's hands reach to grip her knees tightly. Right. Don't get carried away.

Sayo brings in the tea on a small platter, sets it down on a table and sits on the sofa next to Tsugumi. She's tense, Tsugumi can tell by the way she holds herself, but she doesn't yet know what to say to break the ice.

The tea is good, though. She takes a sip, and then another. It's been served piping hot with a nice blend of sweeteners and a heaping side of awkward silences.

"Have you been practicing? This is really good, Sayo-san," she finally says as she holds up her cup.

"Ah. Yes..." Sayo replies hesitantly, but Tsugumi can see a hint of a smile forming. "After you showed me the basics, I've been working on figuring out the right balance of additions... Personally I prefer it more plain, but I know you--" she coughs-- "most people, I mean, like it a bit sweeter."

Tsugumi takes another sip, and decides she has to take the initiative sooner or later.

"Sayo-san--"

"Hazawa-san--"

They both draw back, staring at each other with wide eyes, before Tsugumi cracks and lets out a giggle at the bizarre intensity of it all.

Hearing her, Sayo's face softens, and her posture follows as she relaxes on the sofa. "We are truly a mess, aren't we?" she says quietly in a relieved tone.

"We are," Tsugumi replies with a crooked smile.

Thank god. They can still talk and laugh together like normal.

It's easier to relax after that, and they finish their drinks in peace before getting back into the conversation. After she puts her cup down carefully and adjusts herself to face Tsugumi, Sayo nods to her, allowing her to speak first. Tsugumi clears her throat, and carefully begins as the events of last night come flooding back.

"Do you remember all of it, Sayo-san...?"

* * *

"Get out of my way, Hazawa-san!"

A trio of arrows fly true towards her, and it's all she can do to leap out of their way as they strike a huge cardboard prop of a squirrel that pops up like a target. Tsugumi looks around wildly for Sayo's position, and for her troubles she barely dodges a direct hit as the girl appears to her left and swings the bow itself heavily.

"You shouldn't even be here! That bear said it was just the nine of us fighting in this, so why--" Sayo grits her teeth and quickly draws back another shot-- "Why do you always insist on barging into places you weren't invited?"

Tsugumi swings her blade down towards Sayo's arm, and the other girl has to dodge, sending her shot flying wildly off course into the shadowed seats that surrounded them. "I should be the one questioning you, Sayo-san!" she shouts, "Why were you trying to hurt Ran-chan!?"

Sayo stops at that, glaring at her in disbelief. "You don't even know why we're here?"

"No, I don't!" Tsugumi sends her a pleading expression, holding up the sword before her hesitantly. "Please... just stop attacking Ran-chan, or me, and explain..."

"Explain...?"

Sayo lowers her bow, and Tsugumi can practically feel the temperature on the stage plummet. She shivers at the face Sayo is showing her now-- something cold and jagged is coming out. Something she's never exposed to Tsugumi before, no matter how much they've opened up to each other.

"I'll do better than that, Hazawa-san. I'll tell you a story."

**\- REVUE OF JEALOUSY -**

Somewhere, music is playing. A deep, thrumming array of strings accompanied by piano.

The main lights switch off to send them into the night, and the stage begins to ascend under their feet. A single spotlight shines down on Sayo's tall frame. She looks unbreakable as she raises one arm to the heavens.

"Two siblings, with the same passion-- the same heart beating in their chests, but not the same minds, not the same bodies. One could slip into the guise of any character she wished, recite any line flawlessly, leap from the audience to the stage in a single step."

The spotlight turns off and is replaced with a cool, somber gray circle that puts Sayo in silhouette. A full moon has risen.

"The other, no matter how she hoped and prayed and wished, could not match her sister. Not in her acting, her singing, her dancing. In the harsh gaze of the world, she could not be a true stage girl... or even a girl at all. Not even if she practiced for all time, until only her bones remained."

The moon flies through its cycles at an impossible speed, pieces are cut away until it's barely visible at all-- a paper-thin arc of light.

"She raged against her fate, and in doing so she shut out her beloved sister for ever and ever. Her sister left for another land, and she remained alone in her despair... until a new light began to shine on her." Spotlights return to illuminate the stage again. Around them, cardboard icebergs rise up high, blocking them off from the outside world as the music swells up.

"A promise of a stage without pain or fear. A place she could become what she always wanted to be..." Sayo holds her hand to her chest, and looks to her with an emotion Tsugumi can recognize far too well in her eyes.

"Sayo-san..." Tsugumi can feel an ache deep in her heart, filled with sympathy for her friend. She whispers, "I never know you were hurting like that..."

Sayo's eyes flick back to her, and she takes a step back. "Now do you understand?"

"I... no! You don't need to do this, Sayo-san!"

"There's no other way for someone like me!" Gritting her teeth, Sayo draws back a shot and fires, and then another, and another rapidly. "I shouldn't have expected anything more from you!" Tsugumi is barely able to withstand the assault, and Sayo dashes close to her while she's trying to regain her balance. "You're shining as bright as she did!"

She pulls an arrow from her quiver and holds it as if it were a dagger, swinging it up towards her cape. Tsugumi desperately raises her sword, and meets the heavy strike, grunting from the effort.

"It's blinding!" Sayo cries out, fury and pain mixing in her voice, and the lights converge on her. The music comes to a deafening climax.

But Sayo is wrong, Tsugumi is more sure of that than she's ever been of anything, and as she realizes that she does the unthinkable. She drops the sword from her hand and it clatters to the stage, rolling away into darkness.

She reaches out, grabs Sayo by the shoulders, and summons every bit of strength in her body to shove her friend back and out of the spotlight's burning gaze.

"Sayo-san!"

Tsugumi reaches down as the other girl stumbles back, and she plucks an arrow from the ground. One Sayo had loosed at her only moments before. It's still warm from her touch, and as she picks it up the music changes. The piano is speeding up, the sound of it overwhelming the strings.

She lunges forward, swinging the arrow down, and Sayo barely reacts in time to hold her bow up to deflect the strike with a sharp CLANG! "I've felt the same way you do-- maybe not the same, but close enough! I know what it's like to fall behind the people you love!"

CLANG! Another strike, and Sayo is forced another step back. "I know what it's like to stop believing in yourself!"

CLANG! "And believe me, I know what it's like when people don't believe you're even a girl," Tsugumi says with a glimmer of pain at the memory, and Sayo's eyes open wide at the confession.

CLANG! "But, Sayo-san...!" she yells, full of conviction. "You're shining so bright, even with those feelings inside you! You always are! That's why I..."

In the middle of their fight, on the impossible stage, with her skin on fire and her blood burning, Tsugumi smiles at Sayo like it's just another day of practice. Like they are the only two people in the world, for just this one moment.

Sayo's eyes open even wider now in her shock, and her next step back fails. She starts to fall, but Tsugumi won't let that happen. Not anymore.

She moves forward and reaches around Sayo's back, catching her and holding her in place dipped down low above the stage. Tsugumi's breaths are steady and quick, matching the rise and fall of the piano's notes-- she's never felt so sure of herself in her whole life, not until right now, with Sayo as her opponent.

Sayo whispers through a haze, looking up at her face, "Hazawa-sa--"

"That's why I love you," Tsugumi says as the music stops, and as she swings Sayo's arrow one last time, a round silver button flies into the air and a blue cape slips silently to the stage floor.

* * *

Sayo clears her throat, and Tsugumi is pulled from her memories.

She squirms in her seat, wanting to say something to the girl right next to her-- haha, wow, wasn't that whole thing weird? But her throat just won't cooperate. The words are all jostling together, and if she opens her mouth anything could come out.

Like another spontaneous declaration of love...

Tsugumi stares through her knees to the carpet as her cheeks burn. What on earth had possessed her last night? Sure, the circumstances were bizarre, but she never meant to just... put it all out there like that.

"Hazawa-san..." Sayo begins, and pauses.

"Yes!" Tsugumi says sharply, looking up to her.

Sayo is staring into space as well, but with a new expression. She looks... at peace. Contemplative, even. "As... awkward as it may be, I feel I must thank you for what you did for me last night."

"I didn't-- I don't think I did much worthy of thanks, Sayo-san..."

"Nonsense, Hazawa-san." Sayo leans back into the couch, and meets her eyes with a weary smile. "Your words... no, beyond that, your kindness... has given me a new perspective on my own troubles. I've been doing a lot of thinking since I returned from that stage, and I've come to many realizations about myself."

She reaches up to fiddle with her hair again, and it's as cute as the last time. Tsugumi feels herself melt at Sayo's actions as well as her words.

"It's pointless to deny the storm that's been growing in my heart all this time, not after what I told you, but I feel I can begin to calm it now. That's because of you." Sayo reaches out to take her hand and smiles again, freely now. "Thank you, Haza... Tsugumi-san."

Her heart does a little backflip at that. She can't help but smile, even as she worries once again. "But, Sayo-san... what about... you know? What I said at... the end."

Sayo's gaze quickly moves back to the wall, and Tsugumi shrinks as she dreads the worst. But after a moment, Sayo responds, each word carefully slipping out one by one. "I've... come to another realization as well, you know."

"What's that...?"

Tsugumi's breath hitches as Sayo meets her eyes and softly speaks.

"What I realized is that... I don't mind losing if it's to you, Tsugumi-san."

Sayo's hand is on her shoulder now, gingerly, as if Tsugumi might shy away from the contact-- as if. It breaks cleanly through the soft barrier of tension that's built up around the two. She's so close now that Tsugumi can see, on her cheeks, a shade of red she's never seen before.

There's an engine rumbling loud in her chest, and she can feel her body heating up as Sayo inches closer, her eyes asking for Tsugumi's permission to close the distance.

Tsugumi rises to meet her, squeezes her eyes shut tight as her heart is overcome, and again she is reborn.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed! i had a ton of fun with this (and listened to both revstar insert song albums about a hundred times on repeat while writing). title is from tarkus by emerson lake & palmer. i gobble up your comments like a horse eating sugar cubes.


End file.
